The Moment I Lost My Way (But Didn’t Lose My Faith) Unshakable Faith Series – Part 1

 

What’s up wonderful, amazing, sweet, and lovely people?

I hope you’re having an amazing day today—and more importantly, I hope nothing is stealing your joy.

Welcome to the very first post in my Unshakable Faith healing series. This is a six-part journey, and today I’m opening my heart to share something deeply personal… the moment I lost my way.

Almost 11 Years Ago… Everything Changed

Almost 11 years ago, my life took a turn I never expected.

I was pregnant with my first child, and I was filled with excitement. Becoming a mother was something I had always dreamed about. I imagined the love, the bond, the joy of raising my child.

But at the same time, I was going through one of the hardest seasons of my life.

I was dealing with:

• Financial struggles
• Delays in my legal documents
• Uncertainty about my future
• Waiting for an opportunity that never came

Every single day, I would check the mailbox, hoping that the document I needed would arrive… but it never did.

And yet, my pregnancy became the light in that dark season. It gave me something to hold onto. Something to believe in.

Watch the first episode on my podcast posted above

A Joy That Turned Into a Storm

Because I didn’t have the financial means, I couldn’t afford proper prenatal care. I simply did the best I could and trusted God through it all.

When the time finally came to give birth, something felt off.

The doctors noticed an irregular heartbeat.

What was supposed to be a joyful moment quickly turned into fear, confusion, and desperation.

My baby was born with a severe heart condition—something rare and devastating. They called it Timothy syndrome. Despite looking perfectly healthy on the outside, internally she was fighting a serious battle.

And suddenly… everything changed.

The Fight, The Faith, and The Pain

Those days were some of the hardest of my life.

I felt:

• Broken
• Isolated
• Afraid
• Confused
• Empty

I kept asking God, “Why is this happening?”

But even in the middle of that pain… I still prayed.

I still believed in miracles.

I still held onto faith—even when my heart was breaking.

The doctors did everything they could. We spent days in the hospital. Then weeks. Procedures were done. A pacemaker was placed. There were moments where it looked like things were getting better.

And I held onto hope with everything in me.

The Day My World Stopped

But then… the unthinkable happened.

At just 7 weeks old, my baby passed away.

One moment she was there… and the next, she was gone.

I remember screaming, rushing to the hospital, praying for a miracle. I wanted God to rewrite the story. I wanted to be one of those testimonies where everything turned around at the last second.

But that wasn’t my story in that moment.

My heart was shattered.

When Faith Is Shaken… But Not Lost

The doctors told me something that could have broken me even more.

They said it might be genetic.
They said it could happen again.
They said I might never have healthy children.

But I refused to accept that as the final word over my life.

Even in my grief, I made a decision:

I would not let this be the end of my story.

Yes, my faith was shaken…
But I didn’t lose it.

Instead of asking “Why me?” over and over again, I chose to say:

“God, let Your will be done—but You still have the final say.”

If You’re In a Dark Season Right Now…

I don’t know what you’re going through today.

Maybe your heartbreak looks different:

• A relationship that fell apart
• A betrayal you didn’t see coming
• A loss that left you empty
• A dream that didn’t happen

And now you’re wondering where God is.

I want you to hear this clearly:

God has not forgotten you.

Even when it doesn’t make sense…
Even when it hurts deeply…
Even when the outcome isn’t what you prayed for…

There is still a bigger story being written.

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My Restoration

Today, I stand as a testimony of God’s restoration.

I am now a mother of three healthy, beautiful children.

No disease.
No complications.
No trace of what once tried to break me.

God restored my joy.
God restored my hope.
God restored my motherhood.

And if He did it for me…

He can do it for you.

Hold On

If you take anything from this, let it be this:

• Hold on to God
• Trust Him with your pain
• Be honest about your grief
• Don’t pretend it didn’t happen
• But don’t let it define the end of your story

Your pain is real.
But so is your healing.

A Prayer For You

I’m praying for you right now—that the same God who healed my heart will touch yours.

That He will bring peace into your confusion…
Strength into your weakness…
And light into your darkest moments.

You may feel lost right now…

But you will find your way again.

Final Thoughts

Thank you so much for being here and allowing me to share my heart with you.

If this touched you, share it with someone who needs it. You never know whose life your share could change.

This is just Part 1 of the journey.

There is so much more healing ahead.

With love,
Maryam