Day Six: The Power of Self-Observation, Self-Talk, and Saying “No” Without Guilt

 

Day Six: The Power of Self-Observation, Self-Talk, and Saying “No” Without Guilt

What’s up, wonderful people? It is day six in December, and I’m feeling grateful, excited, and fully present for today. It’s such a beautiful day, and I wanted to bring your attention to something that’s been unfolding in my own life—something subtle, but powerful.

Over the past few days, I’ve noticed a pattern in myself. Whenever someone asks me for something and I don’t have it, I catch myself feeling bad. Not because I didn’t want to help, but because I couldn’t—I simply didn’t have what they needed at that moment. And instead of letting that be okay, I would start beating myself up with thoughts like,

“Why didn’t I have it?”

“I should’ve been prepared.”

“I should’ve had more.”

But here’s the reality: even with a pure heart and the desire to help, sometimes we just don’t have what people are asking for—and that doesn’t make us wrong or irresponsible.

This awareness came from actively practicing something my coach, Arash from Voss Coaching Corps, emphasizes: study yourself. If you want quantum leaps, breakthroughs, and big dreams to come alive, you must pay attention to your inner dialogue and how you treat yourself.

And because of that teaching, I’ve been consciously observing myself. The more I watched, the more I realized how quickly I slipped into guilt over something that wasn’t wrong at all.

So I asked myself a real question:

Why do I let myself feel bad for not having what someone else asked for?

It’s not like I’m hiding anything. I simply didn’t have it.

And even if I did have it and didn’t want to give it, that’s still okay. Another lesson for another day: “No” is a full sentence. You are not obligated to say yes every time someone makes a request. You’re not required to stretch yourself thin to make everyone else comfortable.

Could it be…?

Could it be that one of the reasons our bigger goals haven’t materialized yet is because we’ve subconsciously accepted a harmful belief?

A belief that says:

• We must always have whatever someone asks for
• We must always show up, even when it hurts
• We must always give, even when we’re empty
• We must always say yes, even when we’re uncomfortable
• If we can’t give, we must feel guilty, ashamed, or “less than”

Could it be that this pattern—this quiet self-sacrifice—is blocking the very breakthroughs we’re praying for?

Could it be that the reason some people aren’t living their best lives yet is because they carry a belief that says they can’t disappoint others… even if it means disappointing themselves?

Let’s shift that today.

I want to encourage you:

You don’t have to live that way.

You don’t have to feel bad.

You don’t have to say yes every time.

Your no is valid. Your no is enough. Your no is complete.

If someone asks you for something and you don’t have it, it is fully okay to say no without shame, guilt, or explanation.

And whenever that old voice of guilt tries to creep in… talk back to it.

Sometimes I literally tell myself:

“Shut up, Mariam. Be quiet. It’s okay.”

Because it is okay. Truly.

You haven’t always received everything you’ve asked from people. And yet life went on. So why hold yourself to a harsher standard than you hold anyone else?

Where it really comes from

A lot of this “I must always show up” behavior comes from low self-esteem or old childhood wounds—being treated poorly, criticized, or being told we weren’t good enough unless we were useful.

But today I’m reminding you:

You don’t owe anyone everything.

You don’t have to be available for every request.

You don’t have to sacrifice your peace to avoid disappointing others.

You deserve grace.

You deserve compassion.

You deserve space to grow, to rest, to be human.

Final encouragement

Let today be the day you upgrade your self-talk.

Let today be the day you release guilt around saying no.

Let today be the day you show yourself mercy the same way you show it to others.

You are allowed to honor your needs.

You are allowed to protect your energy.

You are allowed to say no without feeling bad.

And you are absolutely allowed to live your life with confidence, clarity, and peace.